Every so often it's really nice to have a moment of clarity that reinforces the true feelings you have for something. It really doesn't matter the orientation of those feelings. They may be positive or negative. For example, you may really not like a particular food and you happen to go out to eat and get a particularly bad helping of it and it just provides plentiful justification for you to continue, or validate your reasoning for despising that food.Such was the case with my morning drive to work today.
It's no secret that Topeka tops the list of places I love to despise. I have never lived in a community that is composed of such selfish, inconsiderate, discourteous and unfriendly people my entire life. I lived a lot of places. Perhaps I'm too young to remember each and every place. My mom would probably argue that Salt Lake City is worse. I was only 6 or 7 then, so I can't really speak to it.
This morning as I drove down the street I, as it so often happens in this shithole of a town, got trapped behind an asshole going 10mph under the speed limit. I couldn't get around because there was a long line of cars on my left. I needed to get over so that I could make a left hand turn and the window of opportunity to do that was closing very, very soon. Finally the line of cars on my left came to an end. The person who unfortunately was caught behind me and Mr Gotta Drive Like Old People Fuck turned on their turn signal and moved into the left lane. I also did the same - I turned on my turn signal and moved into the left lane.
The next thing I know the person behind me is laying on their horn - nonstop, as if it was stuck in the "on" position.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
I think perhaps I pissed her off. Did I do something so wrong that she needed to be such a bitch about it? I needed to get over into the left lane.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
Then, in a real bitch move she gets back into the right lane so she can flip me off. I return the favor. I think she was hoping to pass in front of me but had to stop. Then she turns her turn signal on and I'm beginning to believe she wants to cut me off or something. But I drive by her and then she gets behind me once again.
Of course, she has to honk some more. And not just Honk! Honk! It's the bitch honk.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!
Here's where I begin to think that I did something really inconsiderate. Perhaps she believes I cut her off. I can imagine she was really frustrated since we were both stuck behind Mr Drives Like Old People Fuck - the guy who could only go 20mph in a 30mph zone. And then we had to wait while a line of cars passes us by such that we have to wait and wait and wait to get out from behind him. Hell, she probably blamed me and thought I was the asshole going so slow.
But you know what? I didn't do anything wrong. I signaled and changed lanes just like you, you stupid fucking bitch. I was stuck behind the slow prick just like you were. I needed to make a lane change because I was turning left too. If you believe I cut you off, you know you could have been a little less selfish and given me more space.
After all, we both had to sit at a red light to make our left turns, didn't we? Are you really in that big of a hurry to stop at a red light?
Your problem is the same that plagues the rest of this fucking city. You are so fucking selfish that you can't possibly think of anything but yourself - and any gain has to come at the expense of someone else. The fact that I had to change lanes probably could have slowed your morning commute by 2 seconds - if that. Of course we still would have hit the red light so it is immaterial. Isn't it? You could have just been nice and the outcome would have been the same - but I forgot where I am . . . it's Topeka fucking Kansas.
But no . . . you had to be a bitch about it. After all, it's much better to be a rude bitch about things and deny compassion and consideration to others so that you may prosper - or at least feel as if you are prospering.
So, thank you Ms Inconsiderate Bitch Driver. I really appreciate it. I've long believed that this town is little more than a collection of selfish, inconsiderate assholes. However, after this morning I need not ponder that point any longer. Far be it from me to stand in your way of sitting at a red light. In the future I will give you and all other shitty, selfish, inconsiderate drivers a wide berth. I know I'm lumping all other drivers into the same pot, but that seems to be the right thing to do. I may as well assume that every person I share the street with here is the biggest asshole in the world and needs the whole fucking street to get from point A to point B.
As a matter of fact I think the following applies: You have the right of way by virtue of the fact that you exist.
After all, it's all about you isn't it? Fuck everybody else. As long as you get your's - even if that means getting to the red light before anybody else.
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